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- Think about your parting words. The closing words between parents and children are crucial. Whatever wisdom you have to offer, whether it is 'I love you,' 'I'm behind you,' 'I'm proud of you,' say it. If you can't express yourself verbally, write your thoughts down and mail the letter to your child immediately after you arrive home. Your children will remember your messages and hold on to them.
- Your lives will change. Younger siblings may be quite happy to see the older child leave home. They will also be happy when they return for holidays! If the college-bound student is your youngest, you'll begin to reestablish a one-on-one relationship with your spouse after years of parenting!
- You won't be able to wait for them to come home--or leave! Your child will arrive home with a whole new set of habits, particularly when it comes to food, sleep, and rules that were in effect in high school. You may want to re-think these rules and adjust as necessary. However, please realize that NCTC has its own (extensive) set of rules so your student hasn’t exactly been following his or her every whim that newly found college freedom has brought!
- Don't change your child's room. The student's room is 'home base'––try not to change it very much during his or her first semester away. Freshmen in particular can go through some very difficult times, passing exams, establishing new friendships, surviving in a setting where they are not 'top dog,' and often fearing that admissions has made a mistake--they do not really belong at college. Give them a 'safe haven.'
- When a problem arises, "move like your feet are stuck in molasses". The temptation is to intervene when a child calls home with a problem. Remember that many resources exist at college to help students cope with various situations. Express support, but give your children time to solve their own problems--it will ultimately benefit them. This is a big part of college—learning to resolve your own questions, conflicts and frustrations. Colleges have many safety nets, beginning with the Resident Assistant, the Coordinator of Residence Life, and the Administration who are trained to identify and handle just about any problem you can imagine.
- As mentioned previously, try not to call or expect a daily call. Students have been observed walking out of exams and the first thing they do is call home to report on the exam. This may be a bit excessive and cause delay in that snip-snip of the apron strings that needs to occur!
- When parents visit their student on campus, it is an incredibly delightful experience if they invite not only their student out for a nice meal, but also a few of their close new friends. It will be unexpected and so appreciated! Even delicious dorm food can get monotonous. And you will get a glimpse at the new people in your child’s life (hopefully, that will be good!)
* Some tips from Emory University and UNT
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